Celebrity News:

While everyone is celebrating their own Thanksgiving turkey dinner and giving thanks for the year. We wanted to give our own brand of turkeys for the year. Celebrity turkeys.

1) BRITNEY SPEARS

You expected someone else? Ha, come on, the biggest turkey of the year by far and away has been this terrible mother, fast food junkie, Big Gulp drinking so-called "singer" and sometimes "actress" that tried her best for a good handful of years to hide her hillbilly, eating coon, living in a trailer and playing the chocolate banjo roots.
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2) LINDSAY LOHAN

The second part of our jailhouse trio. How do you go from one of the hottest young actresses in Hollywood to being up sh**’s creek with your career? Get arrested twice for DUI in the span of a few months and then have two of the biggest turkeys of the year at the box office in GEORGIA RULE and I KNOW WHO KILLED ME.
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3) PARIS HILTON

It wouldn’t be a turkey day without one of the biggest of them all in the heiress that has everything yet takes everything and everyone for granted. After causing news organizations to come to a grinding halt when she first checked into jail, then when she was released early, everyone in the public screamed "This is Not News!" Then we had an assful of TMZ’s princess on talk shows and "entertainment" shows about her trying experience.

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4) THE HOFF

Whether he’s blowharding it on AMERICA’S GOT TALENT or blowing it with his daughter on home video, The Hoff really proved he’s tryptophan than most holiday birds. Besides if I have to stomach his crazy, alcoholic ass (hey, if he can’t handle his booze like me than he needs to get over himself) on any more talk shows telling his "story" I’m gonna start blowing chunks.

5) VANESSA HUDGENS

Proving she wasn’t just the goody-goody that she was painted by teens everywhere a photo she sent along to her boyfriend got "leaked" onto the Internet showing her and her jungle in all their glory. Why we loved it, media organizations came again to grinding halt as if they had never seen someone nude before. She probably leaked it herself to get more mature roles making a big, fat, lying turkey.

6) HEATHER MILLS

England’s most hated female was definitely in the running for the biggest turkey after slamming Sir Paul McCartney with ambiguous accusations about who knows what. In the meantime of being threatened for her life (her words) and thinking of suicide (her words), she still had time to compete on DANCING WITH THE STARS. Gobble gobble, Heather.

7) KIM KARDASHIAN

OK who the hell is Kim Kardashian other than having a sex tape and appearing in Playboy, which we could care what about this woman? She’s the most famous non-celebrity in history. Then giving her and her crazy family a reality show just encourages the damn turkeyness going on inside that big, beautiful ass.
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8) TILA TEQUILA and NEW YORK

OK, first this isn’t even her real name. Second who the f*** is Tila Tequila? Now she’s got a reality show where dumbass women and men are forced to eat various nasty things and then coo over her just so they can end up bored with her shtick. Meanwhile, New York (also not her name) is at it again and anyone who wants this nasty slut deserves every STD they get - big, freaking turkeys.
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9) THE STUDIO SYSTEM FOR LETTING THE WRITER'S STRIKE HAPPEN

Don't get us wrong, we support the Strike and what it means for writer's who've been taken advantage of for way too long and aren't going to take it anymore. The reason why we're listing here is the fallout: 24, the best show on television is dead for the season unless the strike is resolved as are other favorites such as HEROES, CHUCK, MOONLIGHT, SUPERNATURAL and others to end early. Come on studios. Come on producers. Come on writers. Why can't we all just get along so we can get back to our appointment television the way it used to be. We want our 24 and we want it bad!

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10) THE BACHELOR

Apparently, the dude who was the on the latest edition decided he didn’t want to be with either of the two final ladies, which made the fans of the show throw up their arms in frustrated anger. First off, THE BACHELOR is still on the air? Second, this guy has a host of beauties who want to be with him and he goes through an extensive process just to decide he doesn’t want any of them? Duh, didn’t he know these things don’t work. Damn big turkey.